Do You Have Hayaa? | Fadwa Wazwaz

1. Introduction: The Mirror of History

We are often comforted by the illusion of our own moral consistency. In our internal narratives, we are almost always the heroes, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the righteous against the tides of history’s great injustices. Yet, there is a profound psychological discomfort in the suggestion that our spiritual alignment is not determined by the labels we adopt, but by a much deeper behavioral metric.

I reflect on the Quran and turn my questions to God, seeking moral clarity, and over time, new insight comes. I do not answer my own questions or debate God. Al Fatiha is my starting point. I seek guidance when I find a disturbance. This is my practice for nearly three decades, in this piece reflecting on a chilling concept: the idea that we are resurrected with those we truly follow. Drawing from the Quranic narrative of Moses, upon him peace, and Pharaoh, I frame this not as a distant historical account, but as an immediate psychological study. It is a mirror designed to reveal whether our character is governed by genuine internal restraint, that which brings us back to spiritual life, or merely by the presence of a tyrant.

2. Actions Speak Louder Than Proclamations

In the modern landscape of identity politics, we often mistake public allegiance for moral character. However, true “following” is not a verbal commitment; it is an echo of behavior. One can claim the mantle of a prophet while simultaneously wielding the psychological tactics of a despot.

As my past reflection context reminds us, the disconnect between our words and our deeds is where the truth of our alignment resides:

“Following is indicated by action, not proclamations.”

This insight shifts morality away from the safety of identity-based labels and places it in the rigorous domain of daily conduct. If a person harms the righteous while claiming to be their disciple, they have effectively chosen the side of the oppressor. In this philosophical framework, your “leader” is defined by whose traits you mirror when your heart is put to the test.

3. The “Fear” Excuse: Why We Attack the Righteous

A common defense for moral passivity is the claim of fear. We argue that we were “too afraid” to speak against a powerful tyrant like Pharaoh, who used wealth and intimidation to command silence. Yet, I observed a striking collapse of excuses when these same “fearful” individuals turn to attack, slander, or insult a leader like Moses, upon him peace.

Unlike the tyrant, Moses, upon him peace, used “teachings from the Divine” and called for practicing restraint rather than imposing force. Because he did not threaten his followers, he became a target for those who lacked internal discipline. The source highlights the profound hypocrisy of this reaction:

“The same people who were silent before the pharaoh turned around and harmed Moses upon the peace… the one who came to liberate them.”

There is, however, a “green flag” response to fear. The Pharaoh’s magicians felt actual terror, yet they “absorbed the courage” of the righteous leader and chose to follow the truth despite the risk. This contrast reveals that the “fear” claimed by others is often a mask for a deep-seated lack of moral courage or hayaa; they are not spiritually alive.

4. Redefining Haya: From Shame to Spiritual Vitality

At the center of this moral struggle is the concept of Haya. While often colloquially translated as “shame,” a deeper linguistic analysis reveals it to be the state of being spiritually alive, absorbing the light that faith brings. It is the internal restraint that functions as the immune system of the soul.

From the famous duʿa of the Prophet ﷺ:
“O Allah, place light in my heart, light in my sight, light in my hearing, light on my right, light on my left, light above me, light below me, and make me light.”
Sahih Muslim, Book of Prayer, Hadith 763 Narrated by ʿAbdullāh ibn ʿAbbās

When a heart possesses Haya, it is vital and responsive, acting as a vessel capable of “holding light” and maintaining moral clarity. Without this internal restraint, the heart becomes a sieve, unable to retain the discipline necessary to avoid harming oneself or others. As the prophetic tradition warns:

“Whoever has no haya can do what they want.”

This is the ultimate danger of a heart without restraint. To lose Haya is to become spiritually dead, reacting impulsively to the world without the internal governor required to keep one’s ego and envy in check.

5. The Two-Phase Trial: Pharaoh vs. Moses

The trial of the human heart is a diagnostic tool that arrives in two distinct phases. Each phase is designed to expose the source of our behavioral discipline—whether it comes from within or is imposed from without.

• Phase 1: Facing the Tyrant (External Restraint). This test determines how you respond to force and social accountability. A tyrant like Pharaoh imposes discipline through fear, and many “behave” only because they are intimidated.
• Phase 2: Facing the Righteous (Internal Restraint). This is the true test of character. It determines how you treat someone who cannot or will not harm you. A leader like Moses, upon him peace, calls for conscience and ego-control so you can receive light, hayaa.

The failure in Phase 2 occurs when there is no social cost to being a bully. If you practice “beautiful social etiquette” for the harmful while psychoanalyzing, labeling, or slandering the harmless, your heart is responding to force rather than faith.

6. Ramadan as a Mirror, Not a History Lesson

Within this tradition, the study of scripture is not an exercise in historical critique. I emphasized that the stories of Moses, upon him peace, are a “case study” for the faithful today—specifically identifying these figures as Muslim Prophets to ensure the lessons are applied internally rather than used to judge other communities.

The goal of reflection, particularly during Ramadan, is to identify red flags in one’s own behavior. These include the tendency to take others’ writings as one’s own, or the impulse to attack those who are simply minding their own business. To maintain this internal mirror, the following prayer (Dua) is offered as a tool for clarity:

“Oh Allah, show us truth as truth. Bless us with following it and show us falsehood as falsehood and bless us with avoiding it.”

The primary Quranic verse regarding fasting in Ramadan and learning self-restraint is

Surat Al-Baqarah 2:183: “O believers! Fasting is prescribed for you—as it was for those before you—so perhaps you will become mindful ˹of Allah˺ (or learn self-restraint/taqwa)”.

This verse highlights that fasting is a means to develop discipline and piety. 

Key Details on Self-Restraint in Ramadan:

• The Verse (2:183): It emphasizes that the goal of fasting is to achieve Taqwa (God-consciousness/piety), which entails restraining oneself from forbidden acts and desires.
• Training & Discipline: Ramadan is described as a time to train the self to control anger, speech, and desires, acting as a “shield”.
• Comprehensive Fasting: Beyond abstaining from food, it involves restraining eyes, ears, and tongue from improper actions.
• Related Verse (16:128): “Allah is with those who restrain themselves”. 

7. Conclusion: The Question of Accountability

In an era where we can inflict profound harm through digital slander or social exclusion without immediate consequence, internal restraint is the only true measure of character. We must ask ourselves if our “righteousness” is merely a byproduct of social pressure or if it is a genuine expression of our spiritual vitality.

The real test of the heart is what it does when no one is watching or no one can call it to account. As you navigate your own moments of reflection, consider this: Do you require a Pharaoh to make you behave, or is your heart alive (hayaa) enough to provide its own restraint?