Two years ago, I sat nervously in one of my professor’s offices. He asked a very simple question that changed my thinking completely: “Are you Muslim?”

I had expected the scarf on my head to identify me as Muslim, even though there are many other religions around the world that use the same clothing. In the days and months that followed, I came to realize that even if it was obvious that I was a Muslim, the way I looked would not serve to bring my identity forth unless it was accompanied by a voice. My scarf could not speak for me.

My “voice” can be an utterance of knowledge that I deem important. But it is not limited to what I say; rather, it may come out in an action.

Does a person “speak” through his or her mere visual appearance? Not in the case with my professor, when the image of my scarf did not clearly convey my voice. Sometimes a picture is not worth a thousand words. I might even suggest that the word is worth a thousand silent pictures. Yet a well-chosen picture, one that provokes thought, can definitely exceed the value of senseless talk.

There are many ways of expression, and the best one for every individual depends on what type of voice he or she is most comfortable using.

Why Muslims silence themselves in America

Unfortunately, I have seen many people who shy away from voicing their opinions. There are several factors that can lead to this problem.

Some minority groups avoid speaking up for fear of being misunderstood or for fear of being viewed as not conforming to the larger American culture. Muslims, in particular, have a problem with voicelessness, because many are afraid to put themselves in the spotlight more than they already are. They are reluctant to intensify the light that has been shining on them for a long time. There is an old Arab saying that I believe applies to the current situation: Stay away from danger, and sing to it. Many would just rather not confront all the stereotypes out there and risk starting a whole new series of debates.

One factor that helped me overcome this reluctance was attending a private Islamic school. The experience helped me understand myself and my religion better, and it provided me with the foundation on which I can give myself a voice and communicate with others.

Some people argue that when young Muslims attend a private, Muslim-only school, they become isolated from the general society and deprived of the chance to interact with other religious groups. What we have to remember is that these children are still young, and they need to acquire a lot more experience before they can assess the world around them. Once they have enough formative experience, they can continue learning about the world through communication. You can’t tell a bird to fly simply because you don’t want to keep it in the same nest all day. The bird needs to gradually learn to fly. Then it can visit any part of the world it fancies.

One cannot understand others before understanding oneself. I cannot learn from other religions and cultures before learning my own, because only then can I make wise choices through well-defined comparisons. In fact, when I understood my religion better, I realized how similar it was to other religions, and that similarity provided an easier way to connect.

The private school gave me the basis for dealing with others for the rest of my life. I currently attend the University of Minnesota, where some of my classes are twice as big as that whole private school, but I can deal with that because I know who I am and what I want from life. My discovery and assessment of the world is proceeding well in college because I have my foundation.

Misconceptions

Some Muslims and non-Muslims believe that Islam prohibits people who are viewed as a weaker part of society from speaking out. This belief stems from two misconceptions, and both can be refuted by the very essence of Islam. The first stereotype concerns Islam’s regulations on gender interrelations. Although Islam does set limits on how women and men interact with one another, it by no means prohibits them from voicing their opinions to one another. The second misconception comes from the media’s portrayal of Muslim women as oppressed. There are some cultures that don’t allow women to speak out, but that tendency stems more from the culture than the religion Islam. To the contrary, Islam encourages women to make their voices heard: The Holy Qur’an recounts how women in the past spoke out against injustices, Virgin Mary being a prominent example.

When Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) first came out with his message, he sought to give a voice to those who didn’t have it. Islam was the first religion to free slaves and to give them the right to speak out like anyone else. In fact, one of the first muezzins—those who call believers to prayer—was a slave freed by the efforts of one of Muhammad’s companions. This religion was the first to give women the right to vote and to act as witnesses. It forbade domestic abuse and compulsion in any form. Hence, there is no manner in which Islam in itself can be a reason for voicelessness.

The solution, please?

How do we urge Muslims to make their voices heard?

There are many different solutions that have been given for this problem, but the real solution lies in our way of thinking. Many of us think that we cannot handle this world’s great injustices, and that speaking out against them could make them worse. Many of us would rather leave it to others, because it is indeed a heavy challenge to find the right way to bring out our voices.

Islam encourages us to overcome such self-doubt. This religion tells us that, although we have to start by learning the basics of life and by engraving important values that we learn from others in our hearts, in the end it is our own experiences that matter most. The path is laid for us to tread; we cannot reach the gate while riding on another’s back. The stones may bloody our feet, but if we do not experience it ourselves, neither can we feel or remember the soothing water that washes the blood away. We can’t stand by and watch what others do and simply learn from that. We have to apply our beliefs, make our own mistakes, learn from them, and teach others not to make them.

We cannot always rely on having representatives; we must try to represent ourselves in some way or the other. We must speak and be heard, and learn from the replies given to us. Only then can our shaky voices become stronger and stronger until no dusty wind can dry our throats.

When I first came to Minnesota, I realized that the American society is very diverse in religious and cultural backgrounds. However, we are all united in our desire to make a statement. We all need to have voices so that we can learn from each other and initiate a collective effort at creating a future of true knowledge and understanding. After all, one of the defining aspects of a voice is the fact that it is heard and answered.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told his followers that if they could not change a wrong by their hands, they should change it by their tongues; and if they could not change it by their tongues, then they should change it in their own hearts. In trying to find your voice, start where it begins – in your heart. Absorb what you see around you, and listen to yourself, analyzing, assessing, and finally believing in what appeals to you most. Then, when you are ready, let your voice be heard by others and learn from the call they send back to you. If we can listen to each other and learn from one another, then we can pave a way of better understanding for the next generation. Through this cycle of learning, any community can achieve a strong and wise posterity.

–Rawan Hamade is a student at the University of Minnesota.

By Rawan Hamade

Evolution versus creation may be subject to debate in our world today, but there is no doubt that our understanding of certain institutions evolves with time. Our concept of family is just one example. I am not about to tell you that, back in the day, the family was what it ought to be and now divorce rates are increasing a hundredfold. That may be true, but only on the surface.

Many sociologists tell us that marriage may have seemed holy long ago, but in fact family ties weren’t all that great.

Living conditions forced parents to leave their children aside and tend to their own needs. Orphans were left to wander in the streets and were not given much care by the community.

Although marriage was rarely broken, that may have been due to the low priority for the quality of relationships. In other words, researchers tell us that many people just didn’t care enough about having good, healthy familial relations to bother seeking them out. This carelessness made marriage something that existed for many simply because it took too much effort to be broken.

How does Islam come into this discussion?

About 1,400 years ago, when Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) began to speak of the revelations that came down to him, one of the first changes that he sought to make concerned the family. So great was his emphasis on the value of marriage, parenthood, and the family in general that his followers are still amazed at the amount of change he caused in the Arab society.

He talked about the responsibilities of a husband towards his wife and of a wife towards her husband. He talked about how to raise one’s children and what respect children need to have for their parents. He mentioned many human relationships, but he never got tired of talking about parents and children.

Today, it seems as if we are going back in time once again. We need to bring back the effective parenting methods that are so emphasized by Islam.

One of the biggest problems in parenting seems to be the problem of balancing discipline with friendship. Many parents have trouble being firm with their children while at the same time instilling a sense of connection and trust. Islam has a beautiful stance on the issue. We are told as Muslims that, when the child is still at a young age, the parent should try to teach him or her values and morals they deem important. They should try to warn them of possible societal dangers and make them aware enough so that when they go out into the big world they are able to make wise and informed decisions. In this way, children can evaluate the world around them with perspective. Once they reach the age when they are ready to build upon their own experiences and are ready to make their own decisions, the parents should then befriend their children.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) tells us that at that age, parents should give fewer orders and listen to their children’s opinions much more than before. They should even take their children’s advice in what they do. Although many people try to follow this advice, others give up to the strain of everyday life. People do care about having healthy families, but they rarely have the time to pursue that. Our world has become very fast-paced and, before we know it, the pages are flying off our calendars. However, we should make time for this parent-child relationship. Parents who are busy with work need to set their priorities and listen to their children’s problems. If their children are still young, then they need to spend even more time with them because, at this time, they should be their main source of information.

On the other hand, children need to try and talk to their parents at all times, complain to them, ask them for advice, or even just laugh with them. You see, we sometimes take these relationships for granted and we forget how difficult life is for people who don’t have them. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned orphans countless times because he was so concerned about them. He always told his followers that to create a partial substitute for a child’s parents, a whole community has to take action.

Therefore, we should never take our parents for granted. We should always try to build a good relationship with them so that they become our primary source of advice. We should always confide in them our problems and our concerns. On the other side, parents should try to teach their children as much as they can and, once they grow older, they should continue to give them advice but also give them the opportunity to be the teachers themselves.

After all, when a diamond (the child) reflects its source of light from the parent, it adds color and beauty to that light.

–Rawan Hamade is a student at the University of Minnesota.

By Rawan Hamade

Many non-Muslims are interested in knowing why we fast during Ramadan and how it helps us try to improve ourselves. Unfortunately, many receive shallow answers that may not reach the underlying point. Some non-Muslims are hurriedly told that we fast merely to sympathize with the poor, which is absolutely true, but that does not define the limit of this month’s beauty. Ramadan is a blessed time for Muslims in which they should carry out one of the most important functions of a human: learning.

Learning about themselves is the most important goal for Muslims during this month, because only then can we maximize the benefits from fasting. Losing physical weight is not our concern in this month; rather what is much more important is losing the emotional strain that we put upon ourselves. Your desires can become heavy rocks that may destroy your life.

For example, imagine that you are your neighborhood’s news station. You know exactly what kind of TV your next-door neighbor bought the other day. You know how that guy across the street bribed his boss in order to keep his job and you know why that girl five houses down from you ran away from her parents. Now imagine that you knock on every door and, while you sip that bitter tea that your neighbor offered you (which you, of course, complained about to your sister and her husband), you tell her all the gossip you know. Unfortunately, the reality of what would take place next is not pleasant.

Because of this gossip, you will probably never be invited to a neighbor’s house again, let alone be told any secrets whatsoever. Maybe this is not complete destruction of your life, but it is definitely a source of depression. That is what Ramadan teaches us to do: abstain from desires that harm us or the people around us. Now your question may be: Why do you need fasting to help you realize that gossip isn’t all the fun that you hear it is? The answer is human nature. We can easily give in to our desires while knowing that where they lead us is not that garden that we may imagine straight ahead, but a dingy alley right around the corner. When we fast, we remember that if we utter a lie, or even if we ignore that old lady swaying back and forth on the bus, looking for a seat to rest her aching body on as we sit comfortably, we will not only feel guilty, but we would be hungry for nothing. Our fast would have become completely void and devoid of benefit. Finally, the goal of Ramadan is to know that there are people out there who can’t satisfy their desires as easily as we can. Some of those wants are actually basic needs that we need to learn to be grateful for, while other desires are in fact burdens that we have chosen to place upon our backs.

However, to reach the goals of fasting, Muslims go through some difficulties in Ramadan. For the average American, multi-tasking becomes the norm, but the real challenge is multi-tasking in due time. Muslim Americans may have this same challenge daily, but in Ramadan, it is taken up a notch or two. Glancing at the clock becomes the typical thing to do during the long days of this month for me and many other Muslim students, but that isn’t only because of our grumbling stomachs. I have realized, this year more than any other, that Ramadan doesn’t only teach you to have enough willpower to turn your head away from the crème brulé chocolates that you have stowed away for dinner. Rather, it also teaches another very valuable lesson: to take the clock hanging on your wall and save it in your head under a file called “time management.” In Ramadan, the many different obligations may seem overwhelming, but in fact it only makes you more aware of all the free time that is spent not getting anything done.

Waste is not permitted in Islam, and time-wasting is no exception. A non-Muslim may wonder how we can endure long days with no food or drink, but what you should really think about, dear folks, is how a Muslim makes it through Ramadan with all their hair intact. However, if we manage ourselves and our time efficiently, we not only let go of stress-related procrastination, but we can actually benefit from this blessed time. I have already learned many of Ramadan’s purposes but, unsurprisingly, I get inspired to change my life in a new way every single year.

Acquiring will power is the underlying goal of this month, whether it is willpower to learn what habits are bad for us and get rid of them, or determination to change our relationship to time. In fact, Muslims and non-Muslims alike can benefit because we should all learn not to let the clock beat us and steal our holiest times. “Beauty” may have had a beast waiting to turn into a prince and a rose that was obviously fragrant, but time is a beast that doesn’t wait, and this life’s virtues are not always evident, so grab every opportunity you have to benefit yourself and others. The next time someone calls over telling you to hurry, tell them to calm down and that you’re on top of things, and then make a run for the bus stop.

Rawan Hamade is a student at the University of Minnesota.